I have lived here a little over a month now and today is the first day that I have REALLY felt the distance from Sicily to California. We have been staying occupied and I have had plenty to do with our household goods arriving. Still, today I started missing my old life. Maybe it was seeing pictures of family, or getting a phone call from a good friend, or skyping another friend, or the long email I got catching me up on my families lives. Something today made me wish we were closer.
I was making dinner and realized that, other than a few friendships I have made here, I am dependent on my husband for most human interactions during the day. With him being an introvert, I must be putting a lot of pressure on him to keep me socially entertained with my extroverted tendencies.
We were looking for flights to get our dog to Italy and I couldn’t help but notice how much it will cost if I want to visit California. Luckily, I have amazing friends back home that keep in touch and have adjusted to the time difference to maintain our relationship. I just wish they were here and I felt less alone.
I read an article about things to expect when you move far away and come back to visit your hometown. It has become my deepest fear. The article said that your loved ones will get used to not having you around and communication will become less common. When you visit, you will struggle to fit into the lives that have now learned to go on without you being a part of them. You will realize that many of the jokes and interests you shared have gone away. You will have to move on or start over with those friendships.
I wonder if that will feel more isolating then the loneliness I am feeling today.